Congratulations! You are pregnant and you are officially infertile no more, right? That’s what I used to think. As a midwife, I took care of women who conceived assisted by various means, and I knew only that they were a little more nervous and anxious. Then I joined the legions of women on the roller coaster of ovulation predictor kits, clomid, IUI, and IVF. At some point along the way, we had a meeting with someone from one of the local maternity boutiques to talk about what classes and services they offered. She mentioned there was talk about doing a childbirth class for women who had experienced infertility. I had yet to make it to that phase of my journey, but the idea resonated immediately. I remember thinking, “yeah, I bet this doesn’t all just go away”. I began to ask different questions to my infertility patients, and really listen. I discovered not that there was anything necessarily wrong or abnormal about them, but that this was a unique experience. I tried to do research, to find some solid information in the medical literature, or resources my clients could access. I found very little. I looked into doing a support group, or group prenatal care for women who have had infertility. However, in the current climate and endless bureaucracy of health care, adding any service that may cost an extra dime was too big a mountain as I was willing to climb at this stage of my life. I spoke to some women at my local Resolve who were thinking about putting a group together about parenting after infertility. I didn’t feel like an expert in that. The most I know about parenting is my personal experience with my now 6 year old son and 4 year old daughter, and most days, I feel like a complete novice! I have little knowledge of how my experience is different from someone else’s. However, after 7 years as a labor and delivery nurse, 14 years as a midwife, and 3 years of infertility, I have a unique perspective I feel the need to share. I hope to be a source of information, support, and comfort for those who have taken the time to read my few words.
I have included a “share you’re story” page. I would love to hear you’re story of infertility or loss and the adjustment to pregnancy and parenting. The process of moving on after infertility is similar to the issues of miscarriage and postpartum depression years ago: silence bred even more pain for the women suffering. More voices heard means more comfort to those of us affected, and more understanding from our family and friends.
There is also an “ask the midwife” page. This is not limited to topics regarding infertility, but any general questions you may have. I guarantee, there are others who wanted an answer to the same question but were afraid, or didn’t even think to ask!
Lastly, for those of you in the local area, I would love the opportunity to care for you. Please see my contact information for information about my practice.
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